I Am Right – You Are Wrong

During the many years that trucking was a big part of my life, both as truck driver and as owner of a trucking firm, our arch-enemy was the trucking union, the Teamsters.

My husband and I started as a small “ma and pa” non-union trucking company.  At first the union didn’t pay much attention to us.  However, as we started growing, adding employees, becoming more visible, they began to pester us.  The pestering wasn’t too bad as long as there was enough work to go around.  However, when the housing market took a nose-dive and the number of job sites began to dwindle, the union BA’s needed to protect those job sites for their union members.  During those times, the little pestering turned into full-blown union warfare!

It seems you either believe in unions or you don’t.  The culture of our little trucking organization was non-union, through and through.  Not only were my husband and I of non-union mindset, but so were our employees.  In almost all cases, somewhere along the line, each of us had some bad experience with the union that soured us.

There came the point where this warfare became completely out-of-hand.  Threats were being made, job site stalking took place, vehicle chases ensued, the police were called on several occasions.  It became so serious that people’s lives were in danger.  We met with union officials to attempt resolve, but beliefs were so instilled on both sides, there was just no budging.

In his book, I Am Right – You Are Wrong, Dr. de Bono explains the inherent behavior of our brain that actually fosters this type of situation.  He explains that our experiences and our perceptions join forces to form our beliefs.  And then in a circularity fashion, these beliefs then begin to bias the way we experience things, perceive things. We see things in such a manner that reinforces our beliefs, essentially our experiences and perceptions are now being swayed because of our beliefs and vice-versa.  No logic nor reasoning can break this cycle.

This circularity of beliefs is just a very small facet of this book by Dr. de Bono.  His ultimate message is that our traditional “logical” thinking habits are letting us down.   He believes logic has served us well within the areas of technology, but within matters of human affairs, such as our world’s economic crises, environmental crises, terrorism, war, racism, we are not doing so well.  Dr. de Bono believes the key lies in a better understanding of perception and developing deliberate “perceptual” thinking skills.  He believes we have tended to evade perception and rely on logic because we have never truly understood perception.  Logic is so precise, A+B=C, but perception can have such variability, ambiguity, uncertainty.  Dr. de Bono believes logic must take a back seat to perception in our thinking abilities if we are to make the world a better place for future generations.

If I may, I’d like to return to the union/non-union issue for a moment.  And, if I may, ask a question that I am sure to spark debate.  Do we still needs unions today in the United States?  Unions were institutionalized many years ago to serve and protect our workers.  They were a needed driving force that has seen to it that our state and federal governments put regulations in place for the welfare of our nation’s workforce.  Have they now outlived their purpose?  Have they become a bureaucracy?  A bureaucracy comes to be when a body of people was originally formed for a specific purpose but over time, changes that purpose to solely the perpetuation of themselves.

Dr. de Bono uses bureaucracy as an example of one of many faulty institutions embedded within the framework of our society that impedes the process of change for the humanistic side of our existence relative to the amazing rate of change taking place within the technological side of our existence.

This book, I Am Right You Are Wrong, I believe is an excellent tool to open a leaders eyes to the variables and obstacles that hinder our creative thinking abilities.  Dr. de Bono insists it is our creative thinking, opposed to our critical thinking, that is going to take us successfully into the future.  It is our critical, logical thinking that fosters the arrogance and cleverness of I am right, you are wrong, but it is our creative thinking that fosters the vision and wisdom needed to take us successfully into the future.

Leadership Is Like Pornography…..

“Leadership is like pornography” announced our instructor, Mark Smith, the first night of class entitled “Leading Strategically”.

When Mark made that bold declaration I’m sure each one of us class members had our own perceptions running through our minds, our own perception of leadership, our own perception of pornography, and wondering how on earth the two were alike.

If we were to have compared our perceptions, some would be similar, but each would be different as well.

Wait a minute … each would be different … but that’s what we each believe … what we each believe leadership to be … what we each believe pornography to be … that means we all believe something different … all of us, our beliefs are different … who is right? … who is wrong?

I Am Right You Are Wrong, written by Dr. Edward de Bono, is the title of our text for this course.

Wow!  I couldn’t help but think … Ouch! … the arrogance of that title!  But isn’t that really what each one of us is thinking, even if we don’t come right out and say it?… I am right you are wrong!

I’ll have to admit, I’m very anxious to dig into this book of Dr. de Bono’s and see what he has to say and how it might relate to strategic leadership.

By the way, would you like to know how leadership is like pornography? … each are difficult to define, but you sure recognize them when you see them!

What Has Become More Clear To You Since We Last Met?

I have read that Ralph Waldo Emerson would greet friends whom he had not seen for a period of time with this question,  “What has become more clear to you since we last met?”

I can hardly believe that it has been a year since my last post.  During this past year, I completed another class towards my MBA concentrating in Leadership.  I was blessed with another grandchild, this makes fifteen!  Also this past year, I lost my mother.  This is a sad event and a milestone each and every one of us has or will experience at some point in our life.  I’m sure I will find this to be a very significant milestone for me.

Let’s get back to a lighter note, let’s get back to the Emerson’s question.

How would you answer this question if an old friend asked you?  First thing going through my mind is context, what was the usual topic of discussion with this friend?

Why do you think Emerson would even poise the question?  From what I have read, Emerson was a philosopher, a lecturer, a poet, a thinker.  Did he just want to know what his friends had been thinking about?  Or did he want to know what may have changed causing them to think differently about something?

Change … perhaps the recent changes I’ve experienced has caused me to think even further into the significance of change within the realm of leadership.

A leader’s style entails his values, ethics, codes, morals, standards.  However, the world is ever-changing, people are ever-changing, corporations are ever-changing or rather need to be ever-changing.  And as the world changes, as society changes, as values change, styles and methods of leadership will change as well.

A leader himself must be ever-changing, ever developing further.  I watched The Kings Speech the other night.  I won’t be a spoiler and reveal too much about the movie but it is an excellent example of topic at hand.

Envisioning change, anticipating change, embracing change, leading change, even creating change, these are skills of an effective leader, that is what is clearer to me …

What is clearer to you since we last met?

Assignment Accomplished!

A big “Thank-You!” to my family for putting up with me as I anguished through writing these posts.

What an awesome experience though!  I learned so much; how to create a blog, thinking about who my target audience might be, what my message would be.  What an awesome tool this blogging is.  I know I will use it again in the future as I move forward with my career, whatever it might be! 

 What an exciting assignment this would be for a junior high or high school classroom, to create a blog and each student be a contributing author.   I’m a little behind the times, I’m sure that is already happening!

As I logged in early this morning, it was exciting to see that 3 people had already clicked onto my blog to read something I had so say!  That is a neat feeling! 

But life moves on.  If my family thought the subject of leadership was exhausting, just wait til they get their fill of the next topic … managerial accounting … my poor family!

My message to everyone today, have an awesome day  …  and I hope you do recognize the leader that dwells within you!

Who Are You When I’m Not Looking?

… another country music song!  If you’re not a country music fan, let me explain that there is a popular song by the above title playing on country music radio currently.   

A leadership concept that kept popping up throughout the few weeks of class was the distinction between leaders and managers.  A leader leads, a manager manages.  We have managers in the workplace, are they also leaders?  The leader of a company, can’t he also be a manager?  These roles do seem to cross and overlap.  Is there really a distinction? 

Yes.  To quote one author, “There is a profound difference between management and leadership, and both are important.  To manage means to bring about, to accomplish, to have charge of or responsibility for.  Leading is influencing, guiding in a direction, course, action, or opinion.  The distinction is crucial”

We went through a list of contrasts and it seemed the manager’s list was much more negative than the leader’s.  A manager delegates, orders, is a problem solver, limits risk, maintains status quo, whereas a leader collaborates, motivates, is an idea generator, encourages risk, creates change.  One classmate commented that perhaps the manager seems negative because his function is to control whereas a leader’s function is to guide. 

I wondered how teachers and coaches fit into this scheme of things?  They help us learn and develop skills whether it be math, music, or sports.  Are they leaders, are they managers, are they neither, are they both? 

Just then I hear the words to this song begin to play on the radio …. who are you when I’m not looking?  

Managers control us, teachers and coaches instruct us, but if someone has influenced us in such a way that it affects our behavior when no one is looking, are not they the ones who are the leaders? 

This leader could be a coach, a teacher, a coworker, a manager, or CEO of the company, or may not be any authoritative figure whatsoever.  But I believe what makes them a leader is if they have impacted our life in such a way that we alter our behavior, not only when we know we are being observed, but more importantly, when not … when no one is looking.

When have you felt like a leader?

“I never felt like a leader until it was time to call it quits.”  I shared that statement with the class during our first evening. 

In case someone new is reading, let me explain that I had just spent the last twenty years helping to run two small family businesses and, for a number of reasons, we were no longer in business. 

Ted, our instructor, did a great job setting up a casual classroom atmosphere.  The tables were set in a semi-circle so we were facing each other.  We each had a name card set out in front of us, with our first name written on it in our own handwriting, large enough for each other to see.  Just that name card alone told us much about each other.  The semi-circle, rather than circle, fostered openness.

We began the evening with brief introductions.  Ted gave a quick overview of the course content.  Then he asked each of us to reflect on a time in which we had felt like a leader. 

That evening, I didn’t have a clue why I hadn’t felt like a leader until then.  Now, after learning a little more about leadership, I’m beginning to understand the picture.   

We bought our first gravel truck right at the time the housing boom began in our area.  That one truck was working from sunrise til sunset.  Local builders were badgering the excavating companies to get those foundations dug and the excavating companies couldn’t find enough trucks to haul the dirt away. 

So we bought another truck, and then another, and then another, and there was no end in sight.  The same happened with landscaping.  All these new homes being built needed the yards landscaped.  It was crazy!  Everyone wanted the beautiful new patio their neighbor just got.  We literally could not respond to all of the phone calls of people wanting landscaping done. 

What we didn’t realize then, but I see now, we were allowing these external factors to control us.  We just kept on adding crews and equipment and trucks trying to keep up with it.  It is so clear now, we were not leading these companies, these companies had control over us.   

Then the bottom fell out.  Almost overnight, the phone went from ringing off the hook to not ringing at all.   Before long, it was evident, it was time to call it quits.  

I mentioned in an earlier post that a leader is one who takes someone or something from point A to point B.  These companies never had a point B before.  Now they did!

External factors had been in control, but now there was a job to be done.  Employees would be losing their jobs.  The banker would need to be dealt with.  For some reason my instincts kicked in and told me that now more than ever I would be needed as a role model, so many eyes would be watching my actions.

I do not believe that I began being a leader at that point.  I do think though that is when I began following … following my heart. 

When have you felt like a leader?

Looking Fear in the Face

Whenever the word fear comes up, I can’t help but think of a Bible story from Sunday School years ago.  I certainly am no Bible scholar, so someone please correct me if I get the story messed up.

It is the story of the disciples lost at sea, in a small boat, at night, during a terrible storm.  If that was not terrifying enough, here comes a ghostly figure towards them, walking on the water!  The disciples screamed out with fright!  It is Jesus approaching and he speaks, reassuring them.  As the other disciples tremble, Peter pops up with something like “Awesome, I want to walk on the water with you!

I might have misinterpreted somewhat, but that’s the message I remember from the story.  Do I want to be like the other disciplines trembling with fear, remaining in the boat, or do I want to look fear in the face, ready to step from the boat, and proclaim, “Awesome, I want to give it a try!”

In the book I mentioned the other day, Tribes, We Need You To Lead Us, the author Godin speaks of fear.  Fear of criticism, in particular.  He believes this is the biggest obstacle for any of us.  The worst part of it is that the actual criticism usually does not even exist, it is the fear of criticism that stops us in our tracks.  We squash our ideas even before we present them because we’re afraid someone will think it’s stupid, someone will think it’s a waste of time, waste of money, someone will make some remark about it.  Godin believes, “Let them remark!  It makes your idea “remarkable”! 

Go for it!  Look fear in the face, and walk on water!

Top 10 World Leaders of All Time

Make a list of who you believe are the Top 10 World Leaders of all time.  This was one of the first in-class assignments we did. 

But, before I let you know how our exercise turned out, I want you to take a minute and make your own list, actually write them down.  Take only a minute or two, no longer!  We were only given a couple of minutes!

Okay, got your’s written down? 

I’ll have to admit, my first 4 or 5 names came to me pretty quickly.  Then I began to struggle a little … so I started questioning myself. 

 … world leaders … most of my choices seem to pertain to the United States.   … who is a world leader anyway?  A political leader, a business leader, a musician, an inventor, a humanitarian … that helps a little, gives me a couple more ideas.  

Oh no!  I’m out of time!  I need two more quick ones!   What about Elvis?  The whole world knows about Elvis!  And what about Hitler, the epitome of an infamous leader!  

Okay, we each had our individual lists done.  Ted asked the class to break into 3 groups and, as a group, put together a list.

We got into our group and started comparing notes.  Do we have any similarities?  Sure, there’s a couple here that we each have on our individual lists.  We’ll use those for sure.  And there’s another 4 that shows up on more than one list.  We’ll use those, too.  No more similarities though.  How do we decide on the last 4?

I was surprised at what happened next!  Our group got into a pretty heated debate on why “my guy” belongs on the list instead of “your guy”! 

We could not agree, as a group, who the last four members of the list of leaders should be!

Each of us had to concede in one way or another in order for us to complete our list.  I think the person with-the-pencil actually had a little unfair advantage though!  But that’s ok, our list was done!

Ted called the class back together to compare the 3 separate group lists.  Oprah was #5 on all 3 lists.  Jesus was #1 on two of the lists.  Hitler, Martin Luther King, and George Washington did show up on all three lists but in differing positions.  The rest of the names were really quite a variety. 

Why is it such a personal choice who we choose to lead us?  Do we choose leaders that believe in the same things we do?  The same values?  The same principles? 

What about the worldly factor?  Do we recognized leaders who change “the” world, or leaders who change “our” world?    

I’m also wondering, out of curiosity, why is Oprah everybody’s #5 leader?  What does that signify?  Any ideas?

Leading From Within

More than once during the few weeks of our class, the term “Leading from the Bottom” arose.

Even one of the books I read, Tribes, We Need You To Lead Us, by Seth Godin, also talks about this concept. 

I grasp the concept.  I agree with the concept.  But for some reason, I’m unsettled about the term itself.

I prefer the term “Leading from WithIn” instead.

Let me explain what is meant by the original term, “leading from the bottom”. 

Most people look at the idea of leadership and it scares them away.  I’m not a leader. I have no authority to do such.  I’m not one of the bigwigs at the top.  Status quo is just so much more comfortable.  Someone else can shake the apple cart.   That’s not for me! 

On occasion, someone does shake the apple cart, someone with no authority, someone not of the upper ranks, someone from the bottom. 

Seth Godin’s example was of Thomas Barnett.  Thomas Barnett was an individual within the Pentagon with no status, no rank, no authority, just a researcher with a big idea.  Mr. Barnett believed so passionately his ideas of change post-9/11, that he created a 3-hour PowerPoint presentation that resembled performing arts rather than a Pentagon briefing.  Senior military officials say his ideas are influencing the way the Pentagon views its enemies, vulnerabilities and future structure.  A seemingly insignificant person from within, with no authority, is changing the stiff, bureaucratic Pentagon, –  thus, “leading from the bottom”.  

In this situation, because Barnett was acting upon a belief from “within” himself and, because he was acting, not because he did have authority or did not have authority, not because he was upper ranked or lower ranked, but because he was a part of the Pentagon, in other words, “within” the Pentagon, this is why I believe “Leading From Within” is a better term. 

Following is a heartwarming video which touches on this concept of “leading from within”.  Take a few minutes to watch.  It’s just a simple, inspiring, little example of someone making a difference. 

Worth In Words

When a person who is talking, truly feels heard, worth is added to their thoughts and ideas. 

The art of listening is not a natural tendency.  It is a skill that must be actively developed. 

How do you develop this tendency to be an active listener? 

Take a moment and “value” what the other person is saying.  Look at the person, acknowledge that you are interested and that you want to hear what they have to say.    Repeat what they said, in your own words, asking them if this is what they meant.  Acknowledge and validate their feelings, their perspective.  Put yourselves in their shoes for a moment.

This does not mean you must agree with them.  This does not mean you must act upon anything, do what they say, make decisions in accordance with their ideas. 

People want this characteristic in their leaders.  Reagan was good at this.   He was a listener.  He impressed his advisers, his adversaries, his voters.  He actively listened, valued what they had to say, and then made a decision even if it contradicted the very people he listened to. 

Don’t you believe that’s true for any of us?  We truly just want to be heard.